Talking with My Teen and Family
3 Step Plan to Family Communication this School Year
Staying together as a family takes a new set of communication skills, particularly during the teen years. Envisioning your family's plan is the first step.
School, sports and a variety of other extracurricular interests challenge a family’s ability to stay connected during the school year. Before the back-to-school routine begins to take hold think about how you would like your family to be this year. How often does everyone come together to share a meal, enjoy a weekend afternoon, or share a conversation? With a clear picture of how you would like your family to be the path to realizing this ideal becomes clearer.
Soliciting participation and support for the home team takes time and an ongoing effort. The “Picture, Plan and Promote” strategy can be a powerful way to bring family members together in a way that benefits everyone.
- Picture. Take 5-minutes to recall the events that bring your family together in meaningful ways. Sharing a meal, enjoying a movie and family trips garner the top spots on many lists.
- Plan. With a list of potentially engaging activities find the family calendar and look for opportunities to designate as “family time”. Plotting a date on the calendar increases the possibility of going to the beach, sharing a picnic or taking a weekend excursion ten-fold.
- Promote. If spending time together as a family has not been a regular part of the weekly routine there may be some apprehension or, in some cases, strong opposition to planned family gatherings. By including everyone in the planning process, family time becomes a group effort where everyone has something invested. In the Moran family everyone is responsible for preparing one part of the weekly family dinner. “Our six-year-old likes making ice cream sundaes, so dessert is usually his contribution. Julie, our thirteen-year-old typically opts for an original creation of vegetables or fruit. Sharing dinner together as a family keeps us talking and working together.” – Dee Moran
Using the “Picture, Plan and Promote” strategy creates an initial boost of energy and motivation among family members that can launch the home team forward in September. Maintaining excitement over the long haul can be more difficult.
Sustained momentum takes ongoing effort in the form of consistent communication among family members. The weekly check-in, different from a family meeting is a great routine to begin at the start of the school year. When families become accustomed to regular and frequent communication they can step away from the scheduled approach that a weekly check-in promotes.
Varying the venue also helps families come together. Search for new and engaging activities and environments for your family to explore this year that will bring new life to family gatherings, and above all keep fun at the heart of your interactions.
