Supporting Your Middle Schooler
Parents' Homework for Guiding Kids Through the Transition and Beyond
Once school starts, what can you do to help ensure that your child has a successful school year?
Though your child is growing up, he still needs you to be actively involved in his education and his life. Studies have shown over and over that parent support is one of the best predictors of academic achievement. What should you be doing?
Attend Parents' Night. Meet all of her teachers and find out more about the expectations in the classes she’s taking. Knowing who’s who will help you dialogue with your daughter about her classroom experiences later. Find out the best ways to contact teachers and stay informed about your child’s progress. Be an involved parent!
Take Note of Socialization. If the phone is ringing nonstop and your child seems to be out all the time, he may be focusing too much on the social aspect of school and not enough on academics. On the other hand, if his social calendar seems suddenly empty, he may be having trouble making friends. If your child is entering a middle school that is fed by more than one elementary school, this can be a great opportunity to meet new people. Encourage him to step out of her comfort zone by striking up a conversation with the kid sitting next to him, or asking a new student to join his lunch table. Help develop social skills by role-playing with him various ways he might approach new kids. If he has been attending the same elementary school for a number of years, this may be the first time he will be encountering so many new people at once. Remind him that everyone else is just as nervous!
Monitor Work. Often parents think that since their child is now in middle school, she should be more independent and they don’t have to be as vigilant about overseeing homework completion or keeping tabs on grades. That’s only partially correct. Yes, students are learning to be more independent, but it doesn’t happen overnight. The transition to middle school is tough enough, and students are often overwhelmed. This is not the time to back off. Give it at least a marking period or two and make sure she is confident in her ability to manage everything before you make any changes.
Ask Questions. Getting information out of an adolescent can be like pulling teeth. Instead of the usual, “How was your day?” ask specific questions. Who did you sit with at lunch? Which teacher is the funniest? What was the weirdest thing that happened today? What was your science lesson about? Was there anything that you didn’t understand today? Keeping the lines of communication open will help you stay involved in your child’s world.
If There's a Problem. Academic problems that your child is unable to solve on her own need to be brought to the teacher’s attention. The school counselor can help with social or personal issues. More serious problems, such as harassment or bullying, should be brought to the attention of the principal. Help your child learn to distinguish what types of problems she should try to tackle on her own first, and when she should seek help immediately.
