How to Talk with Mom and Dad
Avoid Arguments With Parents by Discussing Curfew, Friends, Homework
Talk to your mom and dad before making plans with friends. Frustrating moments for middle school parents and how to talk with tweens.
Meeting new friends brings new opportunities for after school fun. If you find yourself with free time in the after school hours and an invitation to “hang out” at a friend’s house think carefully before you accept their offer. Your parents will want to know where you are going and who you will be with especially if you didn’t arrange your plans ahead of time. A quick call to mom or dad may save you from a long, frustrating argument later in the evening. Ask your parents to talk briefly with your friend’s parents so they know who to call in case they need to find you in an emergency. If you are planning to go somewhere other than your friend’s house, give your parents the phone number where they can reach you. Expect your parents to ask questions about your plans. They’re new to middle school just like you which means they also have a lot of questions.
Scan the list of frequently asked parent questions below. Think about how you will answer these questions before asking your parents about hanging out with friends. The key to earning your parents’ trust is honesty in your responses to these questions. If the truth doesn’t come out in your first conversation with mom or dad you can bet they will find out the truth sometime in the near future. Watch out! As you probably already know, parents get upset when they hear the truth from someone else.
List of frequently asked parent questions
- How much homework do you have?
- Is your homework done? (If your homework is not finished, share your plan for when you plan to finish it.)
- When is your project due?
- Don’t you have a test to study for?
- When will you be home?
- Do I need to pick you up?
- Who is going to be home at your friend’s house?
Your parents will feel less stressed about your after school adventures if you have thought about your responsibilities and your plan for fulfilling them. Also, consider how your plans will affect your parents’ schedule. Think about asking your friend’s parent to drive you home or to a location where you can meet your parents. Parents lead busy lives, and although they would do anything for you, their days are also filled with important commitments. If your parents know you are in a safe, supervised location, and your after school commitments are complete then your request for time with friends should be granted.
How to frustrate your parents
If the ideas and questions above seemed strange or hard to think about putting into action then read the “Top 5 things that Frustrate Parents” list below. You might recognize some of these trouble spots as events from your life. Give your best effort to try and avoid these trouble spots in the future.
Top 5 things that Frustrate Parents
- Making plans without talking with your parents
- Assuming your parents can take you anywhere you need to go
- Coming home later than you said you would
- Forgetting to call when you said you would
- Being somewhere other than where you said you would be
You can avoid the “Top 5” above by focusing on honest and accurate communication. Show your parents you are responsible and deserving of their trust by fulfilling your commitments (school, home and extracurricular activities). You might be surprised at how willing they are to help you find time for friends. Parents understand you are growing up and want your independence, but they also feel responsible for your personal growth and well being. Have patience with your parents. Remember they are new to middle school too.
Read more on communicating with parents and teachers here.
