Cell phones can cause arguments at home between middle school teens and parents. Avoid frustration with these simple tips on responsible cell phone use.

Does it seem like all of your child’s friends have cell phones?

A survey of teens nationwide found that nearly 50% of teens age 13-15 have a cell phone.*

If your child is among the 50% who don’t already have a phone, read through the next few sections for information about what you’re missing. If you think your middle school adolescent is ready and willing to take responsibility for phone ownership then talk with him about the possibility of gaining cell phone privileges this year. If your child already owns a phone, reading through the ideas below may provide you with valuable tips for avoiding hours frustrating conversations with your child over common cell phone issues.

Cell Phones and Schools

1. The first rule to remember is schools and phones don’t like each other. The school’s cell phone policy can be found in the student handbook.
2. Read the school cell phone policy closely. Individual teachers might have their own rules about bringing phones into class. Refer to each class syllabus for additional rules regarding cell phones. Most teachers will give their students a warning the first time a phone accidently rings.
3. Find the silent setting. Repeated “accidental” ringing usually results in the loss of a student’s phone and detention or another equally unpleasant consequence. Keeping a phone out of sight, preferably at home or in a backpack, is the best way to keep it from being taken by a teacher or anyone else.

Can I Borrow your Phone?

Coach your child to think twice before lending their phone to someone, even a close friend. You are responsible for any charges associated with calls, text messages or pictures sent from your phone. Julie, a 7th grade student, learned the hard way after she lent her phone to a friend who used 200 minutes of calling time in addition to sending 50 text messages before finally returning the phone the following day.

Parent Coaching Tip – Coach your child to take action in the following way:

Rather than handing the cell phone over to a peer, your child can dial the number and then hand the phone over while waiting nearby for the conversation to end. Even friends with the best intentions can make mistakes that may result in serious consequences for you and your child.

Text Messaging and Your Middle Schooler

• Most cell phone plans come with a limited number of text messages as part of the monthly fee.
• Review the monthly cell phone plan before heading sending your child off on a texting rampage. Sending more messages than what is included in your plan results in extra fees that can add up quickly.
• If your child likes sending text messages and but doesn’t have the money to pay for the additional fees you may be headed for a difficult conversation after the monthly bill arrives. Avoid the dreaded parent lecture by talking with your child ahead of time about the number of messages she can send each month and the consequences for exceeding the limit. Having a conversation before the monthly bill appears is a lot easier than arguing about hundreds of messages after the fact.

When Your Child Loses His Cell Phone

Cell phones are one of the most commonly lost stolen items on a middle school campus. Immediately after noticing that a phone has gone missing, begin the search. After looking in all of the usual spots (backpack, locker, bedroom, parents’ car, friend’s house, friend’s backpack, doghouse, favorite restaurant, brother/sister’s room, under the couch) follow the steps below.

Parent Coaching Tip – Coach your child to take action in the following ways:

1. Call home. Use a friend’s phone to call your cell phone number. Listen for the familiar ring tone that may signal your phone’s location in a nearby area. If the initial search doesn’t uncover the missing phone you may still be in luck. There may be a chance that someone found your phone and they are waiting for your call to claim it. If a few hours of searching doesn’t product your phone then proceed to the final step.
2. Tell us you lost the phone. Yes, we will be upset with you. However, the longer you wait to share the bad news the greater the chance someone is using up minutes making calls to far off places like Japan. Calls to Japan cost big bucks. Even though most phone companies will not charge you for calls, text messages or pictures sent after the last time you remember using it, don’t push your luck, they don’t like to pay for calls to Japan either. We will call the phone company and report the phone as lost or stolen.

*Statistics derived from USA Today [Teens More Wired Than Ever, 7/27/2005].