Adolescent Goal Setting Strategies
5 Steps to Successful Achievement with Middle Schoolers
Adolescents can create and achieve goals independently. Coach your middle schooler to a rewarding achievement success with these 5 steps.
Yes, adolescent goal setting is possible. Here's how.
Action Oriented Goals Rather than Outcome Based Goals
- Action oriented goal: I want to improve my current grade in math.
- Outcome based goal: I want an A in math.
Achieving action oriented goals is completely dependent on the effort of the person trying to achieve the goal. Outcome based goals are often dependent on a host of variables, many of which are not under the direct control of the goal seeker. In the case of the outcome based goal above, the math teacher ultimately decides what questions appear on tests, project requirements and the value of nightly homework assignments, all of which determine a student's final grade. A student's relationship with his teacher also contributes to the final grade, even though you won’t see a category on the syllabus. Read more on building positive teacher-student-parent relationships here.
Try the "Today, Tomorrow, 7 Days" Strategy
Step 1:
Work with* your middle schooler to create an action oriented goal that can be achieved in the next 7 days and record it on a piece of paper with the title, “My Goal for the Next 7 Days”. Seven days is close enough for teens to see and allows them enough time to demonstrate progress through specific actions. One example of an action oriented goal, parents can use with their middle school adolescent is, "I want to put improve my test grades."* Working with your child means that you ask questions and wait for answers not the other way around.
Step2:
Ask your middle schooler this question, "What is one thing you can you do today that would help you to achieve your goal?" and have her record the answer on the goal-setting paper. With a focus on today adolescents immediately move into an action mindset (If I can do one thing today I am one step closer to achieving my goal). Remember the Winter Warlock from the Christmas favorite, "Santa Claus is coming to town"? Put one foot in front of the other....Forward movement requires momentum. One step, even one small step, is enough to generate momentum.
Step 3:
Follow up the previous question with this one, "What can you do tomorrow that would help you to achieve your goal?" As in the steps above, continue to add responses to the goal-setting paper. Focusing on tomorrow gives your budding adolescent the opportunity to think about the future. Although tomorrow doesn't seem faraway to most adults, many teens don't have a clue about what is going to happen in the next 24 hours. Thinking about what’s next (like completing the test study guide) automatically gives the brain a focus point. When a seed has been planted the adolescent brain naturally begins to take action towards nurturing the seed's growth. Translation: your middle schooler's brain will take action even if his physical body does not. Keep this strategy in mind for other ideas you would like your middle schooler to consider.
Step 4:
Depending on your middle schooler's state of mind and attitude after articulating his responses to the first 3 steps you might decide to forgo this step. If your conversation is still relatively civil then proceed with the following question, “What can you do over the next 7 days (Target the exact day. Seven days from now could easily be 7 weeks from now in an adolescent’s mind) that will help you to achieve your goal?” Add any new ideas to the goal-setting paper. The purpose of looking 7 days in the future is to use the momentum your adolescent has generated in the first two days to propel her forward towards the successful achievement of her goal.
Step 5:
Celebrate achievement. On day seven, ask your child two questions, “What did you do this week to achieve your goal?” and “How can we celebrate?” Yes, you can make the assumption that your child’s goal was achieved. When you anticipate achievement remarkable things happen. Your celebration doesn’t need to be anything elaborate. Here are a few ideas for meaningful, budget-minded celebrations.
Big Picture Idea
Through small, consistent achievements adolescents learn how to develop a healthy sense of independence. Imagine your sense of pride when your child leaves home years from now with the confidence and ability to succeed on her own.
Start small. Start now.
